yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
farters have to be the big spoon...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
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