trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
