Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
