So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
