I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize