Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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