You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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