Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
