Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My friends, they love my intelligence
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
