so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
