They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize