I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
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You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
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I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He shit in the fireplace
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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