So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
The Olympian is in my bed
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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