Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
we made out on top of his cat.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
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just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
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And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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