clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
