Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
