member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
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Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
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For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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