if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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