I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Randomize
