She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling are messing with the penis
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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