I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
