turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize