yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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