yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
