Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize