You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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