drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
