ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
