Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
