Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.