I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects