Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
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she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
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I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left