Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?