i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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