So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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