went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
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You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
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I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog