my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.