Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand