You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet