oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?