so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
