It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Your dad touched me again.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize