dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
worst night to have a conscience
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
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I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
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captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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