ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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