Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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