12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
