He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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