these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
