Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
