Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
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No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
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You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
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