I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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