Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
