we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
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