You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize