Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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