I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize