the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year