Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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